Newtons lesser known laws of motion
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
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Q. What does a cat call a bowlful of mice?
A. A purrr-fect meal!
Q. What happened to the cat that ate the wool?
A. He had mittens!
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Q. What do you call a septic cat?
A. Puss!
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Q. When is it bad to have have a black cat following you?
A. When your a mouse!
Knock! knock!
who's there?
tuna!
tuna who?
tuna violin and it will sound better!
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Q. What kind of music does a mummy listen to?
A. Wrap!
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Q. What jumps and makes you cry?
A. A spring onion!
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Q. Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?
A. The bandit hit the twix over the headwith a club and escaped in a taxi!
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Q. Why did the girl take toilet role to the party?
A. Because she's a party pooper!